Nate Bargatze Weight Loss: A Humorous Journey to Fitness

Have you ever visited your parents and noticed something about their pet that made you cringe? Well, that’s precisely what happened to me when I went to see my parents recently. They have a real, real, real fat cat. And let me tell you, this cat is not just chubby; it’s a whole new level of fatness. People who walk into their house can’t help but blurt out, “Man, that cat’s fat.” And honestly, it feels a bit rude, doesn’t it? I mean, the cat may not understand English, but we do, so maybe we should keep our comments to ourselves.

The usual question that follows is, “What are you feeding this cat?” And our answer is simple: normal cat food. We pour a bowl, and he eats it. And if he happens to snack on eight birds outside, he doesn’t inform us. He’s not like, “Oh, I ate out tonight, I’m good.” So, why do people think we’re not doing anything about it? Do they expect us to enroll the cat in a gym or drive it to fitness classes? Come on, people, he’s a cat! Jumping on top of the refrigerator should be his workout routine, not a sign of obesity.

But here’s the catch – as I observed that overweight feline, I couldn’t help but reflect on my own shape. I realized that I, too, must embark on a fitness journey. Not to become a cat, of course, but to achieve a healthier and better version of myself. You see, I’m not in the best shape, and if I were to go back to my 20s like most people, I’d have to go back to when I was seven. Ah, those were the days when I was “killing it.”

Now, I must confess, I’m not the world’s most fitness-savvy person. To be honest, walking to McDonald’s feels like a significant achievement. Maybe I should try eating while standing up and see if that helps. My friends, who are quite the gym enthusiasts, invite me to lift weights with them, but I always decline. My excuse? “I don’t want to get too big.” Yes, that’s as far as my fitness aspirations go.

In an attempt to motivate myself, I ordered the P90X workout videos. Inspired by the impressive before-and-after transformations showcased in the commercials, I thought, “Hey, this could be it!” However, upon seeing the after bodies, I questioned if the before body guy had his own DVD because that seemed more attainable for me.

But I didn’t stop there. I decided to take the plunge and signed up for a mixed martial arts class. Thanks to a Groupon deal, I stepped into the world of combat sports. Little did I know that it was more like “Do you want to fight a guy you don’t know in a room?” than actual training. Pairing me up with a 16-year-old kid who aspires to be a professional fighter and was raised by wolves didn’t quite align with my goals. Needless to say, it was a short-lived experience.

And let’s not forget the infamous skin-tight Under Armour shirt. You know, the one that highlights all the wrong parts of your body. I swear I look better without a shirt on than wearing that abomination. It’s like those pre-surgery drawings where they mark the areas they’re going to work on. Well, with that shirt, everything becomes painfully obvious.

Now, I may be lazy, but I do enjoy watching sports. However, during one particular football game, I realized just how lazy I truly am. I got up from my couch to grab a drink from the refrigerator, and in that short span of time, a player ran a 100-yard kickoff return. Meanwhile, I barely made it three to maybe four yards from the couch to the refrigerator. I mean, come on, there were 11 people trying their hardest to stop that guy, and I didn’t even have an ottoman in my way!

Despite my laziness, I did play sports growing up. I remember one baseball game where I got walked and decided to take a chance. I ran from first base to second base as the catcher stared at me, daring me to go further. So I ran to third base, and thanks to some overthrows, my coach was cheering me on, thinking I was about to score an inside-the-park home run. The parents in the stands must have been baffled by my audacity. But alas, it turned out it was only ball three, and I had to awkwardly retreat to first base to continue the at-bat. I eventually struck out, leaving everyone questioning the unwritten rules of baseball.

All these stories and experiences have taught me one essential lesson – confidence can take you a long way, even if your actions don’t necessarily align with the norm. So why didn’t anyone stop me during my base-running adventure? Perhaps because I exuded unwavering confidence. And that’s what made the catcher hesitate and the outfielders oblivious to my unconventional play.

In conclusion, my journey to fitness may be filled with humor and misadventures, but it’s a journey nonetheless. I may not be a fitness guru or possess the determination of a Navy SEAL, but I’m willing to try. So, if you ever see a guy attempting questionable workouts or sporting an ill-fitting Under Armour shirt, that’s probably me. Wish me luck!

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